GET HAPPY SERIES
By Arnette Travis, Author/Activist/Advocate, RLACEI Contributing Author
The Power of Choice
“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of himself.”
— B.R. Ambedkar
These days, many people are in a heightened state of awareness of cultural and political events that affect our values and way of life. To be more specific, many people are “tuned in” to the point of being anxious in some cases, and hostile in others.
Between our consumer-driven culture, the 24-hour news cycle and social media messaging, we seem to have little need or opportunity to form our individual beliefs. The pressure to buy-in to the beliefs of others can be intense, and often results in feelings of inadequacy, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), arguments or estrangements. A wholesale buy-in to what others believe – no matter who they are – often is a dangerous proposition.
How can we become and remain happy in this environment?
Exercise the power of choice!
There are five important choices: We can choose our focus, what things mean, and what to do.
- Focus on the good – When life is good, enjoy it. Happiness doesn’t come to people who don’t appreciate what they have when they have it.
- Create your own culture – Avoid watching too much TV or reading/watching social media postings. Instead, fill your time with meaningful experiences. The time you spend watching TV or social media is time you disempower yourself: your wants, hopes, plans, loves; your family, etc. Also, remember that what you own is not who you are. Things are just things.
- Don’t worry – Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit that has never, and will never, result in anything good. We now know that our physical condition is largely determined by our emotional life, which is regulated by our thoughts.
- Embrace change – As people who have decades of lived experience with cultural change, we Retirees can look back and see that change is inevitable, constant and many times chaotic. It pays to remember that no matter how good or bad a situation is, it will change.
- Protect yourself – Time and energy are the most valuable resources we have in life, and both are limited. Your very existence is defined by how you use these resources and when you realize this, you start to understand why you feel drained when you spend time in activities, places or with people that are not suitable for you. Make your life a safe haven in which only compatible people are allowed.
In Closing
Your life is yours alone. Others can try to persuade you to their way of thinking, being and doing, they can’t decide for you. Make sure that your thoughts and actions align with your intuition, values and desires
Happily yours,
Arnette Travis
